Welcome to another edition of FlixChatter Double Reviews. I thought I’d review these two action movies that dropped on the same day, July 2nd, on Amazon Prime and Netflix, respectively.

HEADS OF STATE

I have a penchant for buddy comedies, especially when they cast the right actors for the roles. Well, anything with Idris Elba is usually worth a watch, and he reunites with his co-star in The Suicide Squad, John Cena. The plot is as preposterous as they come: Elba is UK Prime Minister Sam Clarke and Cena is US President Will Derringer who end up flying in an Air Force One together to a NATO summit in Trieste, Italy.

The movie opens with a rather messy fun during Spain’s Tomatina festival, where a joint MI6 and CIA team led by Noelle Bisset (Priyanka Chopra Jonas) gets ambushed by Russian arms dealer Gradov (Paddy Considine, he’s been everywhere of late, this time sporting a whimsical Russian accent). Stephen Root shows up as Gradov’s genius hacker, but he always reminds me of his character in Office Space.

Buddy comedies often start with the characters disliking each other, and that is the case here. The fact that Will is a former action star (a la Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jesse Ventura) makes him an easy target for Sam. They bicker constantly since their parachutes drop in Belarus and miraculously make it to Poland thanks to a friendly female farmer. Their playful chemistry is enjoyable, and it’s the reason you watch these types of movies. The whole global conspiracy thing is absolutely ludicrous, but the writers are aware of it, and the leads don’t take themselves too seriously. The leads lean into every comically silly situation they’re in with glee (the sheep nipples scene is a hoot!), which is part of the charm.

What I didn’t expect was Priyanka stealing scenes from two of Hollywood’s biggest action stars. I mean, I know she’s charismatic, but given how silly her action series Citadel is (also on Prime), I didn’t expect much from her. Well, she’s actually pretty impressive here, and Noelle is convincingly badass as the agent who ends up saving the two heads of state. There’s a funny bit where she clarifies that Sam is technically NOT a head of state (King Charles is) in a no-nonsense fashion, poking fun at the movie’s own inaccurate title. The scene involving Jack Quaid is quite funny as well, perhaps the most chill CIA agent ever with his Hawaiian shirt and breezy personality.

I’m not familiar with Russian-born filmmaker Ilya Naishuller (Nobody), but he’s a pretty good action director. The movie is briskly paced, with well-staged fight scenes and fun car chase scenes, which pretty much tick the boxes for good action movies. Heads Of State is a fun throwback to action-comedies of the ’80s and ’90s (Lethal Weapon, Bad Boys) where it’s best to just enjoy the ride instead of dissecting every twist.

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THE OLD GUARD 2

It goes without saying that NOT every single good movie deserves a sequel. The Old Guard was released five years ago in 2020 and while it’s got strong reviews, I doubt anyone is eager to see more of this team of attractive immortals who obviously possess the key to everlasting youth. Led by Charlize Theron, who somehow still looks cool rocking a mullet, these eternal warriors confront a new formidable foe that poses a threat to their team. They struggle with the return of a long-lost immortal, which complicates their efforts to protect humanity.

One major disadvantage to this sequel is it no longer has Gina Prince-Bythewood at the helm, who brought a sophisticated touch to the superhero genre in the first movie. In her place is Victoria Mahoney who’s done mostly TV work (I Am The Night, You, Lovecraft County) and this is her only second feature. Greg Rucka, the author of the graphic novel, is back as the screenwriter, and they brought in Sarah L. Walker as co-writer. The original cast is back, and we’ve got Uma Thurman and Henry Golding as additional immortal characters. Despite the star-studded cast, this movie is such a step down and borderline unwatchable.

To be honest, I nearly switched it off a couple of times, but being a completist, I chose to stick with it, hoping it would improve. The plot is overly complicated with excessive exposition, the pacing is awful, and it often falls into cringe-worthy melodrama that drags on endlessly. Characters appear and disappear, and it feels like some key players have been completely overlooked. The mythology about how one loses and regains immortality also lacks compelling momentum here. One character gets to atone for his past sins with a personal sacrifice, but somehow the emotional resonance just isn’t there.

Mahoney’s direction is often over the top with sluggish pacing, filled with actors striking slow, dramatic poses like they’re in some fantastical soap opera. Theron and the rest of the cast (Kiki Layne, Matthias Schoenaerts, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marinelli) seem committed to their roles, but the script does none of them any favors, especially Veronica Ngô. Her character Quynh has endured a brutal punishment of being stuck underwater in an iron maiden for 500 years, so we’re supposed to feel sympathy for her. But the way she’s written makes it tough to actually care. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the ending is sudden, unresolved, and offers no satisfying payoff, as if someone just decided to just put an end to it midway through the third act.

What I enjoyed about the first movie is that it tells a fantastical, mythical tale featuring people with superhuman powers, yet it somehow remains grounded. This sequel not only lacks an emotional narrative but also lacks real coherence and logic. The movie’s release has been pushed back due to major leadership shifts at Netflix and the SAG strike. It’s a movie that barely has any reason to exist to begin with and all the production issues seem to have made it worse. Even when I tried to speed through it a bit, it still felt overlong and pointless. My husband quipped halfway through, ‘This movie is made for immortals who have all the time in the world!’

The awful ending is a glaringly obvious teaser to the third movie, which I will definitely avoid when it eventually comes out. I suggest this amazing cast should just bail on this project completely. Perhaps this story could have been more effective as a mini-series since timeless mythological tales are naturally fascinating.

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Have you seen either one of these movies? Well, what do you think?