You know what’s more agonizing than to watch a movie with a lame hero/heroine? Well, it’d be to see one with a lame villain. Last May, we did a villains trilogy posts (here, here and here) where Ted and I lists some of our favorite villains. More often than not, a bad guy role is a juicy one, filled with the best dialog and one-liners and plenty of opportunities for the actors to have fun with the role and steal scenes. That’s why roles like Hans Gruber, The Joker, Col. Hans Landa, etc. get a lot of love from my blog and others.
But this past weekend, my hubby and I watched The Losers, an action romp based on a DC comics. I saw it mainly for the awesomely-diverse cast and I quite like the rapport between Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Idris Elba, as well as the rest of the team (Zoe Saldana and especially Chris Evans were quite fun to watch). But man, Jason Patrick as Max, the evil weapons dealer magnate, is just dreadful beyond belief!! In a monstrosity scale of 1-10, he’d be a 12! Now, I realize this movie is very tongue-in-cheek and thus all the roles aren’t supposed to be taken too seriously, but still!
You could say he ‘steal scenes’ but in the worst possible way because every time he shows up on screen, the movie just went south real fast. He’s trying to be this cool, menacing, ruthless character that someone like John Malkovich or Alan Rickman can do in their sleep, but this Patrick’s got zero charisma or any trace of edginess whatsoever so his hammy-whilst-pretending-to-be-nonchalant performance just falls flat and downright laughable! He’s just sooo miscast in this that he nearly derails the movie for me… there are moments during his scenes where my hubby and I would look at each other and say, “REALLY? Is this for real??” Even an SNL spoof would be much better than this. I’ve never paid much attention to Patrick’s movies but this role is enough to put me off anything else he does for good!
It makes me think of what other movies have villains sooo bad they actually risk ruining the movie for me. Here’s five from the ones I’ve seen just for starters:
- Elliot Carver in Tomorrow Never Dies
Especially when he mocks the lovely Michelle Yeoh with his silly Kung Fu moves – I never take Jonathan Pryce seriously after this
- Toad in X-Men
So he’s just a mutant henchman but a super lame one at that
- Nuclear Man in Superman IV
It’s pretty self-explanatory I should think? Can’t imagine anyone not cringing every time this over-bronzed fella appears on screen.
- Abomination in The Incredible Hulk
I actually enjoyed this movie but Tim Roth’s portrayal just seems I don’t know… lethargic? He kind of reminds me of Peter Sarsgaard in those Green Lantern trailers, so are all green villains destined to be awful?
- All the villains in Joel Schumacher’s Batman flicks
(This one ‘wins’ triple points for an equally-lame, bat-nippled hero + sidekick) I think Arnie’s Mr. Freeze takes the cake but The Riddler and Poison Ivy aren’t that much better.
Now I turn it over to you, dear friends. Who are your picks for lamest movie villains ever?