What picture pops into your head when you think about eternity or eternal life? Regardless of your beliefs, it probably doesn’t look like what writer/director David Freyne imagines in this fantasy rom-com. It certainly does not align with my own views on the afterlife, and I find it funny that some folks think we mere mortals actually get to choose where we end up for eternity after our time on earth is up.

We’re first introduced to Larry (Barry Primus) and Joan (Betty Buckley) as an older couple heading to a gender reveal party. They’re just like your average grandparents, always bickering, but you can tell they really care for each other. The film doesn’t waste time getting to the afterlife; Larry dies unexpectedly after choking on a pretzel and finds himself at what appears to be a purgatory train platform called the Junction. This is where the recently deceased arrive, and they have a week to figure out where they want to spend forever. At the Junction, people appear as their happiest selves, so Larry now looks like a 35-year-old Miles Teller.

Larry’s discombobulated state before he meets his AC (Afterlife Coordinator) is the funniest part of the movie. Even when his AC Anna (Da’Vine Joy Randolph) shows up to guide him, it takes him a bit to understand what the heck is going on. Before long, Joan meets her end as well, as the movie tells us early on that she’s fighting terminal cancer. Joan appears as a young woman (Elizabeth Olsen), and Larry is ecstatic to see his wife in the crowd. That is, until Joan’s first husband, Luke (Callum Turner), a war hero no less, ruins his dreams of a happily ever after. Apparently, Luke has been waiting for Joan for 67 years and works as a bartender in the Junction.

The world-building is quite fascinating as the Junction looks like a trade show or tourism expo at an old hotel. How sad that capitalism never dies and continues to haunt us even after death! Here, the souls are bombarded by reps advertising their afterlife option; some have booths, and some have reps handing out promotional match boxes as they do in Vegas.

People can opt for Mountain Town, Beach World, Paris Land, Smokers World (cause smoking can’t kill you twice, ha!), even Men Free World, which has a sign that says ‘sold out’ (how’s an afterlife realm be over-populated?? It’s best not to overthink this imaginary concept). Writers Freyne and Patrick Cunnane clearly had a blast dreaming up all these afterlife scenarios for their high-concept tale, and production designer Zazu Myers did a great job. Now, whether it can lead to a satisfying ending is another matter.

The realm the movie is set in is more intriguing than the love triangle storyline we’ve seen over and over again. The afterlife setting adds a fresh twist, but that novelty quickly fades as the rom-com clichés swoop in and take charge. Joan finds herself caught between the ‘one that got away’ since Luke dies shortly after their wedding, and the dependable Larry, who has been there for her through thick and thin and given her a family. It’s a lot of pressure because once she chooses the husband to spend forever with, that choice is irreversible; there’s no going back.

The one concept I wish they’d explored further is the Archives, a vast corridor filled with diorama-style displays depicting scenes from their lives, allowing souls to reflect on their past experiences. Imagine it as a personal museum exhibit where you can revisit your own memories.

The casting is mostly spot on; Teller convincingly portrays a 70-year-old stuck in a young man’s body, and even his grumpy, complaining demeanor is oddly charming. Olsen is a charismatic actress with a classic look that suits her role perfectly. Alas, she’s mostly relegated to looking baffled or stressed out. The chemistry between her and Teller is on point; however, it captures that sweet annoyance that comes from living with someone for ages. The scene where Larry and Joan are overjoyed to be able to do squats and rotate their hips again is adorable.

Meanwhile, I’m not really sure Turner is the best fit for Luke, whom Joan calls ‘perfect’ several times. He has nice cheekbones, but come on, he’s no Montgomery Clift, the classic Hollywood heartthrob he’s compared to in the movie. I’m more enthralled by Joy Randolph; she brings so much joy to every role she plays. It would be great to see this story focused on her character, Anna. John Early also stands out as Joan’s AC Ryan, and the rivalry between him and Anna is pretty entertaining. The ACs also serve as an efficient way to deliver numerous expositions without grinding the movie to a halt.

I haven’t seen Albert Brooks’ Defending Your Life, but just from the trailer alone, one could see its influence on Eternity, with a dash of The Philadelphia Story sprinkled in. I think Freyne created an intriguing idea, but he can’t quite stick the landing, as the finale feels rushed and predictable. Overall, Eternity feels like a wasted opportunity for a profound and enduring love story. The characters are paper-thin, and the story is not as thought-provoking as it could’ve been. But hey, it’d make a fun date movie for people who just want a cute rom-com to pass the time.

What are your thoughts on the ETERNITY movie?