Romance is a tough genre to get right. A fantasy romance is even trickier. I feel like there aren’t too many quintessentially romantic dramas for adults, so I’m excited when a film like A Big Bold Beautiful Journey comes along, especially with huge A-listers like Margot Robbie and Colin Farrell. This is Robbie’s first leading role in a studio film following the box office behemoth that was Barbie in 2023, and Farrell had been busy juggling film and TV work, notably The Penguin, where he was up for an Emmy.

I’m also especially intrigued because the director, Kogonada, made the heartfelt sci-fi drama After Yang, one of my favorite films of 2022. On top of that, the script of A Big Bold Beautiful Journey by Seth Reiss has been on the 2022 Black List. Thus, as I sat down in the theater, I was ready to go on a romantic journey and perhaps even be swept off my feet along the way.

We first meet Farrell’s David leaving his apartment to go to his friend’s wedding. As he finds his car gets booted, he goes to a car rental company, which appears conveniently on the wall right by his car.. Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Kevin Kline lend supporting roles (more of a cameo) as the quirky car rental agents. Not sure what Phoebe’s accent is supposed to be, but her chatty quips are unfunny. Poor David is understandably baffled by this encounter, and once he’s driving his assigned ’90s Saturn, a magical GPS starts talking to him a la HAL 9000.

At the wedding destination, Robbie’s Sarah arrives, also in a ’90s Saturn, and the two have a not-so-cute meet-up when they’re sort of ‘thrown together’ by the bride. In fact, as far as romantic first meetings go, it’s pretty uneventful. Farrell is an utterly charming actor, but he is in uber-contemplative (read: bored) mode here, while Robbie is much chirpier with her Barbie-esque smile and silky blond tresses.

I love that Farrell gets to keep his Irish accent, which Sarah thought of as fake, but it’s the Australian Robbie who’s faking an American accent here. Sarah playfully flirts with David, even pretending to propose to him before inviting him to the dance floor. But David doesn’t bite, ‘I don’t dance,’ he said, which he seems to regret when he goes back to his room alone.

In a romance, the filmmakers are tasked with convincing us that, despite whatever stumbling block the two leads encounter, they are truly meant to be together (or, as Nora Ephron coined, MFEO, or “made for each other,” in her timeless romantic fantasy, Sleepless in Seattle). In this particular case, the roadblock is that Sarah and David are commitment-phobes, and we later learn why.

Reiss’s script engineers magical doors that offer a peek into their past that shapes their perspectives on love. Experiences like teenage heartbreak, the loss of a mother, and persistent insecurities that make someone bail when things get serious; it attempts to show us that the path to healing can be both mortifying and devastating.

One of the more amusing bits is a high-school musical number How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying featuring Farrell showcasing his singing prowess as 15-year-old David. There’s even a classic time-travel-type scene where David meets his dad (Hamish Linklater) on the day he was born. Sarah also gets to relive one of her most memorable moments with her late mom (Lily Rabe, Linklater’s real-life partner) at the age of 12. These memories, packed with sorrow, loss, and regret, shape these characters, but the unfolding events make them hard to relate to. In fact, it’s quite the contrary, particularly with Robbie, who refers to herself as a ‘monster’ because she frequently causes pain to the men who love her.

It’s quite something that I feel more sympathy for Billy Magnussen and Sarah Gadon, the two unfortunate souls that Sarah and David dumped. Honestly, their reasons for ending the relationship don’t exactly endear me to them. In the grand scheme of things, their issues are more pseudo-problems. I mean, when a beautiful girl breaks up with a good-looking guy who genuinely cares for her just because he loves her too much, I can’t help but think, ‘Say what?!’

The actors’ attractiveness level is off the charts, but it doesn’t correlate with the level of chemistry. The movie also feels gimmicky and blatantly superficial with saccharine-sweet dialogue that lacks passion, making it hard to connect with the characters’ journey. The lack of emotional resonance is exacerbated by the odd tonal shifts from whimsical to serious. The snail’s pace also makes the 1-hour, 48-minute runtime feel arduously long. Needless to say, I wasn’t swept off my feet by this romance. In fact, I kept waiting for something profound to happen, alas, it never did.

Unlike the more somber and atmospheric After Yang, Kogonaga brings this one to life with vibrant, rainbow-colored visuals. Sarah’s bright red outfits, yellow umbrellas, pink skies, and lush green forests create a more fantastical feel. Benjamin Loeb’s cinematography is quite beautiful; the rainy wedding sequence is swoon-worthy. However, it’s the music that’s the real highlight, marking acclaimed composer Joe Hisaishi’s Hollywood debut. I’m a huge fan of his scores for Studio Ghibli films as well as his solo orchestral works. Sadly, his lovely music deserves a much better film.

In theory, this movie has everything going for it, but what might seem magical on paper doesn’t translate to the screen. A Big Bold Beautiful Journey is quite an overly confident promise, but this schmaltzy romance lacks heart, which I think is the biggest blunder of all.

Have you seen A Big Bold Beautiful Journey? What did you think?