When I first saw Argylle’s trailer, it reminded me of Sandra Bullock’s 2022 comedy The Lost City where she too played a reclusive romance author who got swept up in an adventure with her novel’s cover model. Well, the plot of Matthew Vaughn’s latest movie centers on Elly Conway, an introverted female author of a very popular spy book series starring secret agent Argylle. Somehow her novel hits too close to reality, involving a sinister global spy syndicate.

The trailer makes it out to be a wish-fulfillment fantasy for Henry Cavill’s fans who desperately want to see him as James Bond, though the British super spy wouldn’t ever be caught dead sporting such a goofy haircut! Cavill basically acts like suave 007 in the opening scene, with Dua Lipa doing her best Bond girl audition in a slinky gold dress. The nod to Bond movies is obvious, think of Roger Moore’s tongue-in-cheek version but ten times sillier. Speaking of Bond, while Goldfinger’s got Pussy Galore, Argylle has an actual pussycat, Elly’s Scottish Fold Alfie that she carries in her argyle backpack.

It’s amusing to see Bryce Dallas Howard in an action comedy. She’s no stranger to action flicks with the Jurassic World franchise, I mean who could forget her running away from a T-Rex in high heels! But here she gets to flex her comedic muscles as well, though she’s often relegated to looking discombobulated as she gets dragged kicking and screaming into a high-octane action adventure. The first meet-up on the train of Elly and Aidan Wilde (Sam Rockwell), who claims to be a real spy, is a mix between the train scene in Casino Royale (where Bond trade banters with Vesper) and the insane fight scenes of Bullet Train. Howard and Rockwell are fun to watch together, with the latter being the clear MVP just for his smooth dance moves alone.

Now, as the adventure kicks into high gear with ceaseless twists and turns along the way, the movie practically veers into the fast-paced screwball comedy genre a la Naked Gun, Hot Shots, or Johnny English. So your enjoyment of the movie depends on how you feel about those movies. I kind of had an inkling what kind of movie this was going to be when I watched Bryan Cranston’s interview with Stephen Colbert where he said his inspiration for his villain character Ritter is Steve Carrell’s Gru from the Minion franchise. ‘Nuf said.

Known for his R-rated action movies, i.e. Layer Cake, Kick-Ass, and The Kingsman franchise, Vaughn certainly has a thing for clandestine society/organization. The movie’s tagline, Once you know the secret don’t let the cat out of the bag, seems to be a hint for early viewers. Not to worry, you won’t find spoilers here. What I can say is, Vaughn’s brand of spy actioner looks to have diminishing returns. X: Men First Class is one of my favorites in the X-Men franchise, definitely one of the smartest superhero movies to date. I love the first Kingsman movie, Kingsman: The Secret Service, it’s stylish, edgy, witty, and fun that makes a star out of Taron Egerton, but the last two lack the ingenuity of the original. The third Kingsman movie aims for a clever revisionist history but the result is an uneven, tonally-off action thriller.

Argylle has the potential to be a clever spin on the spy genre, but despite the dynamic action sequences, the movie is bogged down by the overly elaborate plot and cartoonish humor. The script by Jason Fuchs (who got a story credit for Wonder Woman) keeps the movie in constant topsy-turvy mode, attempting to be one step ahead of viewers’ expectations. Vaughn doubles down on the ridiculous action scenes, accompanied by retro 80s pop music. Electric Energy, a disco pop song featuring Boy George and Ariana DeBose (who has a small role in the movie) is catchy and I have to admit some of the bombastic actions are amusing. There’s the lovers’ dance/shootout amidst rainbow-colored smoke bombs ice-skating, followed by Elly’s ludicrous ice, er oil-skating sequence (by attaching knives to her shoes) as she gleefully takes out multiple baddies.

As imaginative as Vaughn is with the casting, i.e. Catherine O’Hara as Elly’s mother who, akin to every character here is much more than meets the eye, this brainless caper also wastes the immense talent of so many Oscar winners/nominees. Samuel L. Jackson is basically just having a good time playing his mischievous self, but I wish there were more John Cena as he’s got more charisma than pretty boy Cavill. The movie’s scene stealer is Alfie the cat, whose real name is Chip. The gray feline, who reminds me of the Bond franchise’s Blofeld’s Persian cat, actually belongs to Vaughn’s wife Claudia Schiffer.

Argylle gets exhausting after a while and the jokes become repetitive and less funny as the movie goes on and on needlessly for 2 hours and 19 minutes. I kind of tuned out by the climactic fight scene, let’s just say some elements remind me of a major plot in Marvel’s Captain America movies. If you stick around long enough for the post-credit scene, you’ll find out that Vaughn has plans to expand his spy-themed universe by mixing Argylle with his Kingsman franchise, with potential crossover later on.

Can’t say I’m clamoring for more of this type of risible spy thriller that’s absurdly expensive to make (it costs $200 million to make before marketing!) with not much to show for it. No wonder the movie is released on the dumping ground month before it heads for streaming on Apple TV+. What I do want to see more of is Sam Rockwell in more action comedies, hopefully in something with much better material worthy of his talent.

Have you seen ARGYLLE? Well, what do you think?

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