Battle: Los Angeles
If there’s ever a competition for most clichés piled up in one movie, Battle Los Angeles is the clear winner.
The film is about a group of soldiers battle against the faceless, I mean that literally, alien invaders who are destroying every major city in the world. Marine Staff Sergeant Nantz (Aaron Eckhart), who was about to retire, got reassigned to a new platoon which mission is to go rescue some civilians trapped at a police station within the alien territory. They have three hours to complete the mission before the area is blown to pieces by the Air Force. It’s part Black Hawk Down, part Independence Day (ID4). But the main difference is, Black Hawk Down was a very good film and ID4 was a lot of fun. Battle: LA on the other hand was neither… it’s actually painful to sit through. It’s full of laughable dialogue and took itself way too seriously.
When the film opened in theater back in March of this year, it received tons of bad reviews and I thought maybe the critics were expecting too much out of it. I decided the rent it and thought I’d probably enjoy the non-stop action sequences and that’s all I was hoping for. Boy was I wrong. Not only was the film so badly-written, but it’s chock full of clichés from other films that I could accurately predict what would happen next. For example, there’s a scene in the film where a soldier thought he killed an alien and decided to walk towards it and a second later, the alien jumped back alive. I thought to myself, ‘seriously, the filmmakers thought THAT was clever?’ It’s been done so many times in other films with far better results. In every alien invasion films, there must be a scene where the human gets to dissect the alien to find out how to kill it. What do you know, we see that exact scene in this film. Of course they need to have some sort of a doctor who can assist our soldiers on how to dissect the alien. As it turns out, one of the civilians happens to be a veterinarian and offered her professional opinion on how to kill the damn aliens.
Believe it or not, the clichés are not the only awful thing in this film. It’s also badly-directed by Jonathan Liebesman, who was responsible for the awful remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Liebesman and his cinematographer decided to make the audience dizzy by not holding the camera steady for more than two seconds long. Seriously, I almost turn off the movie after 30 minutes in because I felt nauseous from the constant hand-held shaky cam! I understand he wanted the audience to be part of the action. But if that technique is making the viewers sick, how’s that supposed to be a good thing?
The main reason I wanted to see this film was for the big action set pieces but unfortunately, Liebesman failed on that front, too. I couldn’t tell what the heck was going on during the battle sequences. Again, if he and his cinematographer would hold the camera still for like ONE minute, it would have been at least cool to see the action.
As you can tell, I despise this movie, the only good thing about it is the Blu-ray disc is quite stunning visually and the lossless surround sound is top notch. If you want to show off your home theater system, this is one of the movies to do so. Otherwise, it’s a waste of your time and money. Only give it a rent if want to see how good the disc look and sound.
|1 out of 5 reels|
Cowboys & Aliens
Cowboys & Aliens was my most anticipated film this summer. Unfortunately, it turns out to be quite a letdown when I finally saw it a week ago. The film got a lot of negative reviews when it opened back in July 29th but I didn’t read any of them since I really wanted to see it. Well, after I saw it and then I read the reviews, I realize most of the critics were right. It’s definitely one of the most disappointing summer flicks I’ve ever seen since X-Men Origins: Wolverine back in 2009.
The film opened with a man (Daniel Craig) waking up in a desert. He has no memory of who he is or where he came from. He also has mysterious metal bracelet around his left arm. Then he met three bounty hunters whom he dispatched with no problems whatsoever. With introduction like this, we know this stranger is a dangerous man.
He then makes his way to a town called Absolution, where we’re introduced to a few more characters, including Colonel Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), local bar owner Doc (Sam Rockwell), the sheriff (Keith Carradine), a mysterious woman name Ella (Olivia Wilde) and Dolarhyde’s son Percy (Paul Dano). Just few minutes after the stranger arrived in town, we found out that he’s wanted man and his name is Jake Lonergan. That’s the basic set up of the film. But before long, alien space ships started showing up, blowing up the town and snatching people up into their ships. So Lonergan and Dolarhyde decided to team up and rescue the town’s people. In the meantime, Jake keeps having flashbacks of what happened to him, very similar to the Jason Bourne films. The film has no plot and for the rest of the run time.
I actually enjoyed the first half hour of this film, but after the aliens showed up, it went downhill from there. I didn’t really care for any of the characters and while the action sequences were well-done, it’s something we’ve all seen before in other sci-fi action flicks. For a film that cost $160mil to make, I thought the production design looked cheap and the scope of the film were quite small. I expected to see more alien space ships flying around attacking the cowboys but it never happened. I was also surprised how many cliché scenes were in the film, whatever you think will happen in the next scene, it happened. There were 8 writers, I say again, eight writers credited in this film. Obviously the script went through several revisions before they started shooting but I couldn’t stop thinking to myself, eight writers and this is the best they could come up with?
Director Jon Favreau did a good job paying homage to some of the great westerns from the past including The Man with No Name Trilogy, Once Upon the Time in the West, The Searchers and The Outlaw Josey Wales. Unfortunately, with a weak script, there’s not much he could do except adding one clichéd scenes after another. Performance wise, Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford are pretty good in their respective roles. It’s too bad Sam Rockwell and Olivia Wilde don’t have much to do but being part of the gang. Rockwell is the comic relief and Wilde is the love interest of Craig’s character.
Now, I don’t hate this film as much as the other alien invasion film that came out earlier this year, Battle: LA (as you can see in my review above). But this one sure is a big disappointment to me. With a great cast like this and a decent director, I thought for sure the film would’ve been a fun Summer ride, not one that’s full of boring dialogue and by-the-number action set pieces. One critic pointed out that had the film been more of a comedy in the vein of Men In Black, it would’ve worked better. I tend to agree with that sentiment. Maybe a straight up western/sci-fi just doesn’t work, especially with a weak script like this one.
Perhaps another reason why I didn’t like this film as much was because I saw it at a AMC digital theater where they didn’t remove the 3D lens. The picture looked dim and flat, during the night scenes I couldn’t make out what the heck was going on. So be warned, if you’re going to see this movie at your local AMC, make sure you see it in the non digital theater. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please read this article. It’s another reason why I hate 3D, it’s ruining our movie going experience.
|2 out of 5 reels|
Well have you seen either one of these movies, yet? If so, did you like ’em or were you disappointed as much as I was?
43 thoughts on “Guest Reviews: Battle L.A. and Cowboys & Aliens”
…all i can say is ouch.
We’re in lockstep regarding ‘Battle: L.A.’ I, too, anticipated ‘Cowboys & Aliens’ for quite awhile. I’ve yet to see it, though (feeling like I’m holding off the disappointment) — I’ll probably take it in this weekend. Fine look at these, Ted. Thanks.
Thanks, do let me know what you think about Cowboys & Aliens after seen it. I was hoping for a really fun movie but I got bored after the aliens showed up.
As for Battle: LA, it might be on my list of the worst films I saw this year so far.
wow. 2 negative reviews for 2 films that I didn’t despise as much as you, Ted. I thought that Battle: LA was a decent film, but, I have to cry out “Amen” on the overabundance of cliches in the movie! Dead on observation! A decent marine flick and a mediocre yet predictable alien movie.
and while Cowboys & Aliens did disappoint, it wasn’t all that bad. Perhaps the anticipation caused it to appear worse. It’s a good western, but a bad scifi flick.
however, fun reviews! Nice work!
Oops! Sorry Scarlet, my comment below was supposed to a reply to you. I didn’t hit the reply link.
no worries! i got it! thanks for the reply!
You know I really wanted to like Battle: LA but the movie just rubbed me the wrong way, I just can’t stand the non-stop cliche scenes.
I think you’re right, I was so looking forward to Cowboys & Aliens and when it didn’t deliver, it really made me angry. Like I mentioned, I have the same feeling about Wolverine, was so excited to see it but when I finally saw it, I wanted my money back.
Both these films are the worst!
B:LA would have been better if they had ditched the annoying musical score throughout that just made me want to vomit. No disrespect to my American friends but that kind of film does not help with you worldwide image. America saves the world ooooh rahhh!!
Cowboys was soooo bad. I am trying to look at it more from the outside and not from the point of view that it was so boring and the script was so bad that all I could think about was the annoying noisy eaters and the fact that I was dieing for a wee!!
Nice write up Ted (as ever)
(this is Custard by the way, trying to lose the nickname)
I liked your nickname 😦
Thanks Scott, these two films rubbed me the wrong way, one thing I hate when it comes to big Hollywood pictures is cliche and these two films has so many cliche sequences.
I really like Batlle LA, just switched off my brain and enjoyed the mindless blasting. I can understand all the criticism, but had a great time watching it. Sure it’s full of cliches and the moment they said there was a central command center I knew how it was going to end….but I didn’t mind at all…
I was hoping to just turn off my brain and enjoy Battle: LA too but the film was just too awful for me to even do that. Ha ha.
My off switch probably is more accessible 😉
This doesn’t interest me at all. Saw the trailer again last night before Planet of The Apes (which was brilliant) and I definitely won’t be bothering with this one. Movies like this feel a bit like movie making by committee – ‘What will attract the biggest audience?’ etc.
So true Ronan, they marketed really well as you can tell by the trailers but the film itself was lackluster.
Hi, Ted and company:
Having been raised on Big Bug Eyed Monsters, Evil Aliens. Giant Mutated Lizards and re-awakened Dinosaurs following their Prime Directive in tearing up downtown Tokyo while kicking the crap out of the Marines. I was disappointed in ‘Battle: L.A.’
Good looking graphics aside. Aaron Eckhart seemed too old and miscast as the gutsy Sgt. Saunders stand-in. Falling into cliched situations spouting even more cliched dialogue. Annoying shaky-cam and all.
‘Cowboys And Aliens’ has a cool concept wrapped around the likable team-up of Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig. Working hard for a just short of satisfying pay-off.
Excellent reviews, Ted. Concise, less than positive, cheer-leading critiques need love too!
Thanks Jack and as always we’re on the same page, these were well marketed films but the final product just didn’t delivery.
I really liked you reference to Sgt. Suanders, man does that bring back memories.
Glad you mentioned the darkness of the 3D lens affecting the picture. As more people talk about this, the greater the awareness of it will spread.
I know I couldn’t believe how dark the picture was when the movie started playing. I’m now avoiding all digital theaters at AMC.
Great writeup, Ted. Man, I’m glad I haven’t seen either one of these even though like you, I was so gung ho about Cowboys & Aliens. But after reading all the dismal reviews, I’ll probably just rent it so I can turn it off after the first half hour, ahah. As for Battle LA, from the awesome trailer, I kind of had a hunch the movie itself would be bad.
RT, just so you know i posted the vampire post i’ve been talking about. I would love to hear your opinion on it
I’m on my way, Julian.
Thanks Ruth, I’d recommend you avoid Battle LA and just rent Cowboys & Aliens. I’ll give Cowboys & Aliens another shot when it hits Blu-ray, maybe when I see it on my bright projector screen, I might like it a bit better.
Battle Los Angeles was decent I thought. I agree, very cliche reliant but I liked that it was somewhat “realistic” in how the military would react against such an invasion. Certainly, very unspectacular movie with even the big action set pieces never really making you go “wow”. I would rate 2.5 stars out of 5.
As for Cowboys & Aliens, we are completely on the same wave. I loved it as a western but then once the aliens show up, it just sucks the life out of it. And then you have one of the characters startlingly being brought back to life and it was totally downhill from there.
So Castor, would you call Battle L.A. tepid then? 🙂
Yes, it was tepid!
Yeah I thought technically Battle LA was good but I just couldn’t stand the non-stop cliche sequences and bad dialogue.
I pretty much knew who that character was but I thought the character was on the same side as the bad aliens. Also, the big action sequence near the end just went on and on, I love action but that was just way too long of a sequence.
It’s been surprising to hear so many negative comments about these films. I haven’t seen either one yet, but both had intriguing trailers. From what I’ve heard from reliable sources, both seem like they were marketed a lot better than the actual content of the films. Nice posts.
Exactly, great marketing from both films but the final products were pretty lame. Of course this is just my opinion, do check them out if you’re interested and do let us know if you like them or not.
I haven’t yet seen Battle: Los Angeles yet but I know I will have a similar reaction to it as you. Vacuous action is the worst kind of film in my opinion and this seems hellbent on appealing to people with no attention span whatsoever.
Cowboys and Aliens seems to be getting loads of bad reviews after a promising trailer. That is a shame but I’ll be seeing this one long before I attempt Battle.
Do let us know what you think of both films when you finally see them. Maybe you’ll enjoy them more than I did. 🙂
Ted, your passionate reviews are always entertaining to read. No holds barred. Keepin it real. Thanks for the reviews.
Hear, hear! I bet your reviews are more entertaining than the movies, Ted 🙂
Ha ha, thanks Vince. I tried not to be so mean when I review films I despised, you won’t want to read my review of Crash, I really hated that film and it won best picture at the Oscar!
Wow, sounds like a couple of clunkers. It’s too bad because Cowboys & Aliens certainly has an interesting premise. How disappointing.
I’d recommend you rent Cowboys & Aliens and see what you think. To me it was a very disappointing flick.
I’m definitely with you in regards to BATTLE: LA. There wasn’t anything remotely original in the whole thing, and it was surprisingly boring. And similar to Jack Deth, I grew up watching giant lizards and reawakened dinosaurs wrecking havoc on mankind, so this flick should be up my alley. But, instead, a major fail on every level imaginable.
In disagreement about COWBOYS & ALIENS, but that’s to be expected. There seems to be a clear divide in opinion concerning that. Nicely worded reviews, mate.
Thanks Andy, I really hated Battle: LA. I was so looking forward to Cowboys & Aliens but it was a major letdown to me. I might give it another shot when it comes out on BD/DVD.
As far as westerns go with SciFi themes I really enjoyed the TV series, Briscoe County Jr..
After seeing interviews with the cast and Favreau, and reading your review I’ve got to see this film. As an employee of DISH Network I work with a lot of movie buffs and there is a whole generation of movie lovers that vaguely remember any good old western movies. Because of all these mixed reviews I’m excited to see Harrison and Craig play roles uncharacteristic of their legendary acting careers.
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