Directed by Justin Simien

Starring: LaKeith Lee Stanfield, Tiffany Haddish, Owen Wilson, Danny DeVito, Rosario Dawson, Chase Dillon, Dan Levy, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jared Leto

Disclaimer: I have not seen the 2003 film starring Eddie Murphy and Terence Stamp of which this is a reboot. As history states, Guillermo del Toro was slated to helm the remake of Haunted Mansion way back in 2010, even up to 2015 according to online sources. But apparently, del Toro’s treatment was deemed too scary for family audiences, and a new production team was hired for a much more family-friendly take on the film based on the popular Disneyland ride. Disney, recently scrutinized for over-cashing on (and maybe lowering the value of) the Star Wars and Marvel films, has been struggling to find its new Pirates of the Caribbean. Failing with The Rock’s Jungle Cruise (2021), Haunted Mansion is another attempt to find another profitable film franchise. Have they succeeded?

Mother Gabbie (Dawson) and young son Travis (Dillon) purchase and move into an old Louisiana mansion but (surprise!) it is haunted. As the unruly ghosts won’t leave them alone (even after leaving the house), they seek out the help of Father Kent (Wilson), an exorcist priest. Needing more help in the matter, he recruits Ben (Stanfield), a down-and-out ex-academic who at one time developed a special camera that can detect dark matter. At first skeptical, things happen in and out of the mansion, and he ultimately has no choice but to help Gabbie and Travis solve the reason for the hauntings and to make them stop.

With a budget of $150 million and a decent and likable ensemble cast, Haunted Mansion might seem like a no-brainer to at least one money-hungry Disney executive (Iger anyone) right?

Katie Dippold’s script tries to engage the heartstrings with its semi-involving plot points but cannot overcome the preposterous concept of the overall story – this is after all based on a Disneyland dark ride. There is a Dickensian feel to it, but its execution leaves much to be desired. Case in point: I kept seeing Donald Duck and other Disney characters in the actors’ place and feel it would have made for a better movie. The Disney cartoon adaptation of A Christmas Carol fares so much better than Haunted Mansion, but that has the undeniable foundation of a tried-and-true Charles Dickens story. 

Going back to the previous alleged story treatment by del Toro, I can’t help but wonder if Haunted Mansion might have been more compelling with a darker tone. If Disney wanted this to attract more young kids, a cartoon is probably more appropriate. On the other hand, a PG-13 type of script with more stylistic conviction could probably generate as much profit rather than middling in between a G and PG rating and overly compromising innovative story and filmmaking ideas. Haunted Mansion would not be the first film to bank on an MPA ratings scheme and fail.

But Disney’s fatal flaw with Haunted Mansion is the same shortcoming fans have been complaining about with the streamer’s handling of the Star Wars and Marvel TV shows of late – and that is the horrible CG effects. Perhaps this is a reflection of the less-than-ideal working conditions (pay, benefits, deadlines) of today’s CG artists, who span the globe in every country. I think now we are seeing the lifelessness of CG technology in big-budget productions that Christopher Nolan has been talking about in his press tour for Oppenheimer (Nolan is not a fan of CG effects). Imagine an inspired practical effects team on Haunted Mansion and you will likely have a better, more engaging, and entertaining visual experience than what Disney is offering us in 2023. Unfortunately, we are given the same usual journeyman fare of a movie, with a fine ensemble cast completely wasted.

Younger kids might like Haunted Mansion but the adept ones know – for the amount of hard-earned money we pay at the theater, we deserve more inspired work from a company full of imagineers, so to speak. Skip this one and wait for it on the Disney Channel where it properly belongs.

So have you seen The Haunted Mansion? Well, what did you think?

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