I’ve actually never seen any Jack and the Beanstalk movie before, but of course I’m familiar with this bedtime story. I was curious enough about this one given that it’s directed by Bryan Singer.
It starts unpredictably enough, with Jack’s father reading him a bedtime story and of course Jack always believed it’s not just a myth. Fast forward to a decade or so later and Jack’s now living with his farmer uncle. After his father’s death and on the way of selling his horse to make ends meet, he inadvertently comes into possession of the magic beans that has the power to open the gateway between human race and giants. “No matter what you do, makes sure you don’t get these wet,” said the man who gave Jack those beans. Well, that’s exactly what happen when one of them fell underneath Jack’s house and rain poured heavily one fateful night. That one small bean ends up growing into a giant beanstalk that shoot up and up to the sky… and soon, all hell break loose.
You can pretty much guess what’s going to happen next. In fact, this movie has zero intrigue as it’s as if you’ve seen this story played out in your head. Now, there are a lot of fairy tale movies where you know the story by heart but yet the fresh adaptations still manage to surprise and entertain you (Tangled is one that comes to mind, which is based on the classic fairy tale of Rapunzel). Alas, this film is NOT one of them.
Neither the adventure nor the romance is the stuff of legend as it were, in fact, if you’re older than say seven or eight, you’ll likely be bored watching this movie. The British pair Nicholas Hoult and Eleanor Tomlinson as Princess Isabelle barely has any chemistry despite their best effort, but then again they never stood a chance when their dialog is so uninspired. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised this was written by Christopher McQuarrie who gave us the abysmal The Tourist!!
This film has all the elements money can buy, what with the computer-generated giants and impressive effects of the beanstalk forming all the way up to the sky, but clearly money doesn’t buy great scripts. I mean it SHOULD, but for some reason, studios seem intent on squandering their money on CGI and elaborate set pieces instead of a story and characters worth caring for.
It’s a big waste of talents too. I mean, I think 23-year-old Hoult is a pretty decent actor and has enough leading man charisma, but for some reason he’s just not all that interesting to watch here. Tomlinson looked like she’s about to cry at every moment it’s irritating, I don’t really know if that’s the director’s fault or that’s just her acting style.
The supporting cast is an even bigger waste! Ian McShane, Stanley Tucci, and Ewan McGregor are so grossly underutilized here it’s criminal! Even McShane seems bored and uncomfortable under that gold full plate armor and the only funny part involving Tucci you’ve already seen it in the trailer. The CGI giants look realistic enough, which I’m sure that’s where most of the gigantic budget cost went to, but despite their size they have no personality whatsoever other than the stereotypical gross, uncivilized behavior. They remind me of the goblins in The Hobbit, only much less amusing. The 3D is just fine, not distracting, but it doesn’t add much either. Once again it’s just another studio gimmick to extract more money when a regular format would do just fine.
Sounds like box office forecast already predicted that this movie would NOT slay the box office (it only grossed a measly $7 mil on Friday). That’s got to be a major blow for the studio, especially since this movie was supposed to open last June 2012!
Final Thoughts: I wasn’t expecting a masterpiece, but I’d think Bryan Singer could’ve delivered a much more compelling and entertaining movie. After all, this is the director who brought us the excellent X-Men franchise before all the superhero movies came along. He’s proven that a comic book movie could be more than just fluff, you’d think he could do the same with a fairy tale story.
Unfortunately, this film is such a giant waste of $190+ mil to me. Overused plot lines, cliched characters and dialog, and every joke and line seems to have been recycled from things we’ve seen before. Kids might enjoy the CGI wonders… but adults will realize it’s a soulless piece of cinema.
2 out of 5 reels
Has anyone seen this one? Do share your thoughts of this film.